The Meaning of Christmas
by jottingz
Summary: The festivals or seasons were just another reminder to her that she was responsible for the crew being away from their families and loved ones at such important times.


Kathryn Janeway attempted to bury herself deeper into the huge armchair as she watched the light flicker and dance in the fireplace.

The chairs didn't fit into the rest of the décor of her holodeck re-creation of da Vinci's studio and tonight she had left out the maestro, but sometimes it was the version of the program she preferred. It was completely low-tech and totally different to the usual environment of Voyager outside the holodeck doors.

Notification of Neelix's latest attempt to raise morale had ensured she booked the holodeck early in an effort to escape.

She always felt uncomfortable during traditional holiday times that Neelix insisted they celebrate. And no group on the ship was safe from the Voyager's morale officer; Bolians, Bajorans, Terrans and even Vulcans all 'benefited' from his tireless and thorough research.

The festivals or seasons were just another reminder to her that she was responsible for the crew being away from their families and loved ones at such important times.

Year after year.

However this latest effort made her even more uncomfortable. Terran Christmas was her least favorite celebration _on Voyager_. Most religious and national holidays had been largely abandoned or forgotten in the 24th century, but most Terrans celebrated Christmas in some form or another. Even those from other faiths and those of no religious beliefs at all, like her family.

Christmas in the Janeway household was always special. She and Phoebe would locate and then drag a tree home that they'd buy in town. Then the three Janeway women would spend hours decorating it. Her mother, a wonderful cook, would make a traditional feast that would be enjoyed by friends and family. There would be gifts, snow fights and comm calls to relatives and friends who were unable to be present. Her most cherished memories of her family were of this time of year and it was the one time when all of the family would be together.

As was her habit on similar parties on Voyager, however, she would make a brief appearance, wish the target group well and then quietly exit. Nobody seemed to mind.

Neelix's forays into festivities and celebrations usually had less than authentic results.

The most bizarre so far, however, had been the "observance" of the Vulcan holiday of Kal Rekk. Supposed to be a day of atonement, solitude and silence, Neelix had somehow morphed it into one of raucous music and fancy dress (come as your favourite Vulcan). Thankfully, Vorik and Tuvok took it all in, if not good humour then a bemused, quiet tolerance, and Tuvok even made an appearance, insisting that he'd come as himself. Both officers requested that they be permitted to observe the occasion the following day and Janeway had been more than happy to agree.

But Neelix had absolutely _nailed_ Terran Christmas. Janeway suspected that Tom Paris or maybe Sam Wildman had if not overseen, then heavily advised him to ensure that this particular celebration was actually recognisable by people who observed Christmas.

The captain pretended to take the preparations, which had begun two weeks before today, in good humour and made out that she didn't mind the appearance of decorations in the turbo lifts and even the large tree (now decorated) in the Mess Hall at all, even remarking to Chakotay how cheery it was.

She absently raised the glass of Neelix's eggnog to her lips and took a sip, surprised initially that it wasn't coffee. And whatever it was, it wasn't eggnog. Her mother knew how to make it and Janeway realised that she wasn't sure what her mother did to make it so special.

Suddenly, there were tears in her eyes as her thoughts moved to her family.

Her hand dashed away the moisture and with the gesture she dismissed the tears and the memories. She was responsible for keeping over 140 people from their loved ones and she had _no right_ to wallow.

She uncrossed her feet on the footstool and again stared into the fire.

" _Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway_."

Damn. Perhaps she could just ignore the interruption.

" _Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway_."

Or not.

"Janeway, here."

" _Captain, I am currently outside the holodeck. May I join you_?"

"Can it wait Seven? I'm off duty."

" _No. It cannot_."

Of course it couldn't.

"Then by all means, come in."

She looked around to see the young woman enter.

"Thank you, Captain." Seven looked at the newly installed fireplace and chairs. "You have made several modifications to the program since my last visit."

"What do you think?"

"It is…comforting."

"Thank you. Now, what can I do for you?"

"Neelix requested that I seek you out. He says I am to return you to the party in the Mess Hall or to put 'a smile on your dial'."

"And people say Neelix doesn't have a sense of humour."

Seven looked doubtful, but continued.

"Mr Paris also thought I may have the best chance of success as you 'have a soft spot for me'." Seven put her hands behind her back. "Although I didn't really comprehend his exact meaning, I did understand the inference."

Seven looked at the Captain with a look of total candor then cocked her head and raised an eyebrow in a manner which reminded Janeway of her dog, Molly, when she expected a treat.

Thoughts of her dog brought back the melancholy that she had experienced earlier and the momentary good humor she had just experienced was lost.

Seven noticed the change in the Captain's demeanor and the almost pained look on Janeway's face and was instantly confused. Wasn't the Captain smiling just seconds before?

"Captain, are you unwell?"

Janeway bit back the urge to snap at Seven. It wasn't the young woman's fault that she'd been used in a clumsy attempt to get the 'Captain' to participate in one of Neelix's shindigs. She couldn't help feeling that the crew would be much more comfortable and at ease without the person _responsible_ for their current exile from their families being present.

"It is customary for you to spend this holiday with your family?"

"Yes, Seven." She looked at the young woman standing next to her. Shoulders back, hands behind her back. Her face gave away nothing but one eyebrow was lifted. Tuvok's influence, Janeway mused.

But right now, Janeway couldn't be bothered with this transparent attempt. Was there nowhere that she could escape without one of her crew finding her?

"Tell Neelix I'll try and drop by a little later." Janeway noticed that Seven hadn't moved. "Dismissed." She was getting quite annoyed.

"You wish to be with your family at this time?"

"Seven," she stopped herself before she made an angry reply. "Of _course_ , I want to be with my family. I'm sure _everyone_ on Voyager does."

"But you do not want to be with the crew for this particular observance?"

"I was hoping for some time for myself." Seven's only reaction was to elegantly lift an eyebrow again. It was useless, Seven had gone totally Vulcan on her. There was the slightest hesitation before the young woman again spoke.

"I consider _you_ to be _my_ family, as I am sure do Lieutenants Paris and Torres also. You are very important to many people on board. Do you not yourself call the Voyager crew 'family'?"

Janeway stared at the former drone. As captain, she thought that she had made many mistakes but bringing Seven on board was not one of them. She suddenly felt slightly ashamed of herself.

"I…thank you, Seven." Janeway sat up straighter in her chair and put her cup to one side. "Maybe I could come by for a little while."

"Thank you, Captain. Perhaps on the way you could explain why Mr Paris is decorating with a plant called, I believe, mistletoe, but is putting it in locations where it will not immediately be noticed."

Janeway stood up and looped her arm through Seven's, calling for the holodeck to end the program as they exited. "Well, in some cultures, it's a tradition for people who are noticed standing together underneath…" The doors closed behind them.

* * *

In the Mess Hall, the crowd erupted in delighted laughter at the sight of their captain being caught under the mistletoe with Gerron.

Gerron initially looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights, whereas the captain grabbed the young man and planted a big kiss on his cheek before accepting the glass of punch from another crewman and momentarily disappearing into the throng.

Tom, B'Elanna, Harry and Seven spotted her again as she emerged from the crowd with Gerron still in tow, laughing heartily and attempting to create, what Tom explained to the group, was a conga line, dancing to a jaunty Christmas tune.

"Wow," said B'Elanna.

"You can say that again," agreed Harry.

"Seven, you did great. You saved Christmas!"

"Thank you, Tom." Seven almost sounded relaxed using their first names as they had insisted and pleased with Paris' praise. "I did as you suggested and 'played my ace' last."

"Remind me never to play poker with you."

As the conga line passed their little group, the captain gave Tom a little wink and in that moment, he realized that she knew it was he that had sent Seven.

He managed to shout, "Merry Christmas, Captain," just as the line sucked in their little group, including Seven and even B'Elanna.

As he was dragged into the line by, of all people, Vorik, Tom realized that it was a Christmas miracle.

End


End file.
